For Fucks Bloody Hell Fire Sake, or, How To Get Bank Charges Refunded.

I have just been talking to some semi-functional fool in Halifax for about half a sodding hour, trying to persuade her to refund the £58 pounds they had sucked from me for going £1.28 overdrawn. A mote unfair, you might say. Yeah, you might bloody say that. And for once, the powers that be (ie the Office of Fair Trading) would agree with you. But Miss Branch Manager doesn't. Oh no. Neither she nor her natty nylon trousersuit will budge an inch.

Finally, she handed me a leaflet with a phone number for complaints and I stormed out in a ineffectual way, muttering dark curses and swearing I would withdraw all my money and store it under my mattress. Or I would if I had any money.

Anyway, the woman on the phone was almost unbelievably rude, but she eventually refunded the charges as a 'goodwill gesture'. Hmmm, giving me back money you never should have taken in the first place. Yeah, it's a shame you can't see this gesture - hint, there is nothing 'goodwill' about it. Yeah. You been told.

Anyway, the message is, complain and you might get it back. Or see http://www.govanlc.com/bankcharges.html for good letters to write.

In other, related news, a missing passage of Revelations has been found. Dubbed the 'The Halifax Manuscript', its authenticity is hotly debated by scholars. Here is an extract:

(IV) And Satan was cast down into the Firey Depths of Hell (V) And the Great Serpent caused there to be a Banking Corporation created on Earth to do his terrible Work (VI) And He called it The Hell's Feck, or The Halifax, and said unto it, "Go and spread Discord and Malice amongst the peoples of Earth, create Dispair where there is Hope, and Hatred where there is Love" (VII) And there was much Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth

That really does explain a lot.